


A study in Lonliness

by lover_of_fanfics



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: A bit sad, Alternate ending for a study in pink, Fluff, Fluff fluff and more fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 13:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3121976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lover_of_fanfics/pseuds/lover_of_fanfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock can't stand the thought of John Watson fading out of his life, so how can he make him stay? Can he even force him? It probably wouldn't be a good idea... Maybe John will just want to stay with him. How do they stay together?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A study in Lonliness

Sherlock’s breath caught. _No! This isn’t happening!_ He thought. This was right after the “study and pink” case, and now John Watson was leaving. He was of no use to Sherlock anymore, those had been Sherlock’s _earlier_ words. He’d told Dr. Watson that upon the finishing of the “study in pink” case that he could leave, he’d be no use to him after that. But the case had lasted a week, and in that time Sherlock had grown attached to the doctor. And now, that exact man was about to walk out of Sherlock’s life forever. That thought alone was enough to start a burning fire in Sherlock’s previously iced heart.

 

John stood at the door, gathering his jacket. And Sherlock sat in the sitting room, his eyes snapping open and looking at John. John looked as if he was about to mumble a goodbye and then wander out of his life permanently. Sherlock’s heart spun in his chest, as he subconsciously reached his arm out to John. “John!” Sherlock shouted, standing up. John turned around and looked at Sherlock, confused. Sherlock let his arm fall as he stood relieved. He loved when this man looked at him, when he praised him. He loved that this man thought that he was ‘Brilliant!’ and ‘Amazing!’.

 

“What is it, Sherlock?” John asked, titling his head. Sherlock felt a shiver shoot down his spine, he loved when this man said his name. He wanted to hear his name come from that man’s mouth every day. There was a long silence, only noticed by John however. Sherlock finally shook himself out of his daze, noticing John’s nervous glancing. “Oh, uhm… Well, John, I know you were going to go back to your own flat tonight but…” Sherlock’s voice drowned off for a minute as he thought about how to finish. “And well I was just wondering if you’d rather stay here, that way you can get better rest for tomorrow.”

 

John nodded in thought, taking in all that Sherlock had just said. Sherlock looked at John nervously, although John didn’t notice. John enjoyed this, he liked when Sherlock worried over things he did. The truth is John didn’t really want to leave. He’d gotten into the routine of living with a “highly functioning sociopath”. He’d been here for a week and he already felt comfortable with Sherlock. He loved this flat, and especially Mrs. Hudson. And he especially loved Sherlock, he didn’t think he could live without him. John couldn’t believe what luck he had that Sherlock was going to let him stay for one more night.

 

Sherlock couldn’t hold it back any longer “Well?” He asked, his hands clutching at his sides in fear that John might say no. John nodded “Sure, that’d be great. I’ll be sure to leave first thing when I wake up tomorrow.” John smiled, though inside it pained him that he said he’d leave early. He wished he hadn’t. Sherlock smiled weakly, also hating that John would leave in the early morning. There was a long silence in which neither of the men spoke, Sherlock broke the silence by saying “You know, you don’t have to leave early… There might be another case tomorrow, I could always use an extra hand… If it doesn’t bother you too much, you can stay longer.”

 

John felt his heart longing to say yes, but in his mind he knew he couldn’t intrude on Sherlock’s life any more. And the longer he stayed, the harder it would be to leave Sherlock. “No that’s alright,” John said, adding quietly “I don’t want to invade your space.” Sherlock didn’t catch the last part, seeing as his heart was throbbing from the first thing John had said. Sherlock nodded “Well, goodnight John.” John nodded and silently walked to his room. And then fell into a painful sleep, about how he’d have to leave Sherlock. The man he’d come to love so much, he wished he would have been selfish and stayed the whole day. But now it was too late, and he couldn’t take back what he’d said.

 

As his tears fell so did Sherlock’s and they both fell into silent dreams in their own rooms.

* * * * *

The next morning John awoke to violin playing, the melody was sad just as John was. He wished he could pretend like he’d forgotten about leaving that day, but he knew that would be rude. So he threw on his blue jumper and collected his things. He didn’t have all that much, so packing took a very short time. Just as Sherlock finished his tune, John was down the stairs and staring at the man’s back. “Sherlock,” John said quietly, attempting at getting Sherlock’s attention. There it was again, that amazing shiver going down his spine. Oh God how he’d miss that, how he’d miss John. _Oh God_ , he thought _Oh God, he can’t leave… But I can’t force him to stay… So I’ll just…_

 

Sherlock turned around and faced John, a fake smile on his face. “Morning John, sleep well? Do you want some help carrying your stuff down stairs?” _Fake it._ John nodded and lifted one bag, while Sherlock picked the other up. Mrs. Hudson stood down stairs with tears in her eyes. “Oh, John dear, do you have to go?” John chuckled and hugged Mrs. Hudson warmly. “Yes Mrs. Hudson, don’t worry though. I’m sure Sherlock will keep your mind off of my absence with something to say.” Mrs. Hudson laughed softly and nodded. “I’ll leave you two to your goodbyes then.” She walked back inside the flats.

 

John stood there awkwardly, not able to look at Sherlock. Sherlock felt the sudden desire to have John’s arms around him as he said a heartfelt goodbye, but settled on holding his hand out as a mere friend. John took it and shook it firmly, Oh God how Sherlock would miss that. John chose not to say anything, seeing as his voice might crack from his sadness. Sherlock said a mere “Goodbye” before watching John get into the cab and drive off. As soon as John got into the cab and knew Sherlock couldn’t see him he let his tears flow. Just as quickly Sherlock bolted into the flat, ignoring Mrs. Hudson who was trying to get his attention, and went into his flat and for once locked the door.

 

He let his tears flow for the first time in his life, even though it was strange it felt right in that moment. He wished in that moment that John would show up, would have turned back in the cab unable to leave Sherlock. That John would be there and see Sherlock crying, that his instincts would bring him to hug Sherlock as he told Sherlock he loved him. But instead Sherlock spent the entire day sobbing in various places around the flat, ignoring texts from Lestrade and the worried knocks from Mrs. Hudson.

 

And as soon as John got back to his own flat, he sat on his bed and buried his face in his hands. Sobbing out Sherlock’s name until he fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * * * *

It had been only six days since John had left, but he was still having trouble fitting into his old flat. He kept accidentally making two coffees rather than one. He thought he was such an idiot, Sherlock would probably laugh if he saw him. “I was an idiot, why would I think that Sherlock would’ve really wanted me to stay.” John muttered to himself, disposing of the extra coffee. His heart was still aching from leaving, he could barely sleep right. His night terrors had come back, and he was going to have to start going to that terrible therapist again. God he hated her.

 

John had a job interview today, so he was getting ready. He’d just finished buttoning up his shirt when his doorbell rang. _Odd_ , he thought walking to the door, _Who would visit me at this time of day?_ John’s breath caught as he answered the door. In front of him stood the man who his heart ached to see so much, but there was something different. “Sh-Sherlock?” John looked up at the man, his curls were in all different directions. He looked thinner and paler than usual, and his eyes were bloodshot. Sherlock stood staring at John, his blue eyes seemed so gray right now.

 

Sherlock had no idea what he was doing, all he knew was that his heart had never felt so empty before he had to watch John leave. And now he was at John’s door, staring at a man who had probably moved on and had never had feelings for him to begin with. But to his surprise he felt John’s strong arms wrap around him, and with only slight hesitation he held John back with his long thin arms. And in that moment Sherlock knew exactly what to say. “John,” He started, pulling back slightly to look into John’s eyes “John, please come home. I’m a wreck without you.” John smirked “I noticed.” He said, brushing some curls out of Sherlock’s eyes.

 

Sherlock leaned into John’s touch, smiling. “You left, I turned into an emotional wreck. Emotions… they’re terrible.” John smiled warmly. “But they brought you back to me.” Sherlock’s eyes seemed to snap back into color. “You missed me too? So will you come back?” He sounded like a child, it was so adorable. John nodded “Of course I missed you, and yes I’ll come back.” Sherlock smiled so widely that John wouldn’t have believed he caused it. “Good,” Sherlock whispered against John’s hair “Then go change into your normal clothes, you’re not going to have any other job than to be my blogger.” John smiled and nodded.

 

“I’d offer you coffee, but I just poured my last cup down the drain.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is an extremely short fan fiction and I know it isn't my best work. I hope you guys liked it though! Tried to get the feels out of you, tell me if it worked! Comment please, I like feed back! ^-^


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